Why is it so hard for women to talk about money? 

It's a struggle that I've felt personally and am trying to think of ways to NOT pass that on to my daughters (I'm attempting now to talk to my 5 year old about money, so we'll see how that goes!) But I wanted to bring some attention to the topic in an attempt to dive deeper into the mindset struggles I notice women around me deal with when it comes to money and asking what they deserve. 

The Financial Mindset Struggles we Need to Change

• Equating it to your value, which it should. Let's step back and talk about your value. This is where imposter syndrome can come in, and the doubts of who you are and what you are capable of start to creep in. So let me tell you right now that you are valuable and should take up space and should earn what you are worth. 

 

• The "selfish" stigma. We have to get off of this negative mindset of talking about money, or asking for more money. The one in particular that grinds my gears is the  stigma, which I believe is somehow connected to mom guilt, that makes you selfish. Well, I think about money as a means by which that I provide for my family: I buy food for them to eat, pay our mortgage and clothes for my kids. If I make more money, it inevitably goes to them. Aside from the occasional (and arguably well-deserved pampering or purse purchase) what is selfish about that?

3 Tips on Asking for What You Deserve
So you recognize this discomfort that you have: great, now let's do something to change it. Here are three things you can do right now to make improvements in your money mindset. 

1. Back it up with data. Look up your job title, location on salary.com and make sure you are being paid what you should be. Also look up the next level up, you may be surprised to see that you are doing most of that work already, and have that in your pocket when you ask for a raise or make the case for a promotion. Data is objective and that fact may make you feel more comfortable. 
2. Talk to your friends about what they are making. Employers don’t want you to know what each other is making so they don’t have to pay everyone the same. Let’s bust that open: talk to your colleagues (especially the male ones) about their salaries, and note the numbers. How are you stacking up? How does that make you feel? 
3. Channel the rage. Despite recent "advances," women who were full-time, year-round employees made 83 cents for every dollar men made in 2020. If nothing else, guys have no problem asking for insane amounts of money because of their inflated sense of self-worth. Think about all of your hard work, your skills and your talents that you bring to the table - ESPECIALLY if you are a working mom. Try getting angry by and channelling that rage for good ;) 

I love talking about how awesome working women are. Check out this recent podcast for more!

One of my absolute favorite things to do in marketing is working with partners. When it comes to spreading the word about your company or your product, I can't see why you wouldn't take advantage of working together towards this greater purpose. Partner marketing can really complement and help amplify your thought leadership pograms

What are the Benefits of Partner Marketing?

I see it as a win-win: let's say it starts with a piece of collaborative content you have come together to create.​ When it comes to promote that content, you have access to each other’s networks - their social media following (both personal and of the company), email subscriber lists, employees, and more. So you are effectively each doubling the reach of your content.

1  - Make it Easy. 
While I was at Affectiva, and even continuing at the Smart Eye group, the Human Centric AI podcast that I started is a great example of this. It was designed as a vehicle to build that relationship and then promote each other on our networks. We also packaged it up so that the speaker received a sample social post to copy & paste on LinkedIn to promote their episode, a pretty graphic featuring their headshot that they can easily share and tag to point back to my source content, 

2 - Brainstorm Collaborative Offer Ideas.
You can come together via partner marketing to collaborate on new, innovative thought leadership content - podcasts are one example, but you can also consider livestreams, blog posts, eBooks, webinar presentations, or joint speaking gigs to name a few. 

3 - Map out Your Ecosystem
So, take a minute to map out who the key players are in your ecosystem. They can be partners, clients, customers, or influential people in your network.

By aligning yourself and your company with thought leaders in your industry or in companies adjacent with your own lends credibility. This also ultimately builds trust with your target audience - it's nice to talk about yourself,  but even more powerful when you can team up and talk about each other.

Learn more about thought leadership and partner marketing strategies in this recent podcast I did! 

If there's anything that the pandemic has taught us, it's how strong we are. From zoom school to daycare closures, I looked around and saw an inspiring amount of strength around me from working moms. It wasn't an easy time, and those of us with partners (better have!) chipped in, but I know I learned a lot about my personal strengths that I probably wouldn't have otherwise considered. 

It's sad to me that we had to reach a breaking point to be acknowledged. I remember reading about a group of moms who just organized a group to go scream in a field. Though I initially admired the sense of support and camaraderie, and even could appreciate the physical release that must have brought, I overall thought it was a waste. Why couldn't we channel this frustrated energy into action? Did we all feel so powerless by endless restrictions and impossible situations that we felt the only thing to do was to scream into the universe together? 

As a working mom, here's what I learned about myself during the pandemic: 

#1 Your impossible standards are impossible. No one benefits from you being a martyr: not your kids, your partner, or your employer. Set up realistic boundaries and goals for yourself, and stick to them. 

#2 It's okay for your job to just be your job. I personally find sayings like "if you work at a job you love, you'll never work a day in your life" damaging. With such an emphasis on meaning in your work, especially for women, I feel like we lose sight of what's most important: the money!

This may be an unpopular opinion, but women need spending power. We need to be paid what we are worth, and it's okay to not support your family at a company that pays you what you need: if it's not aligned with your personal mission in life, get invested in driving cultural change! 

#3 Speak up: lean on your partner. Marriages are partnerships, and the pandemic highlighted how uneven the burden of running a household, childcare, and work can be. Don't wait for the unhelpful "how can I help?" (if you are lucky to get that). Give them specific tasks and ways that they can help you. Practice your managerial skills and delegate those tasks that you know they can handle! 

When Strength Meets Heartbreak: Some Perspective

If 2020s have taught us anything, it's that we have put ourselves here. We put our mindset and way of thinking to a stress test and it broke. It sucked, but now it's time to rebuild.

How can we take this time to build it into something better? What kind of support systems did you wish that you had in place when you were struggling? Can you work towards bringing that to future generations of employees, or run for office with these issues at the forefront of your mind?

Want to dive deeper? Check out this recent podcast, where I shared more tips for working moms.