Have you ever been jealous of someone who got a little bit of an edge earlier in life? If not, good for you: you are some kind of pure. 

Because I definitely have. 

Starting out right out of college, even before college, I remember looking at classmates and being in envy of their personal situations. I wish MY mom was an executive VP who could coach me on my first interview, or I wish MY dad led the finance department of a start up, and could advise me on how to negotiate my first offer, or could explain equity and 401k to me. 

But my mom sells furniture, and my dad is a handyman. 

Don't get me wrong, I am super proud and I learned so much from both of them. In fact, if you are just starting out and find yourself in a similar situation, here are some thoughts for you: 

1) Examine your relationship with success, and money. 
This first step requires some reflection. Based on where you came from, how do you define "success"? What about your attitude towards money? How do you manage your finances? Will the career you are in support you financially? Understand what motivates you, and how your definition of success can best set you up in your life. Spoiler: you need to make that money, don't be afraid of it and get your credit card / student loan act together ;) 

2) Look at what triggers your jealousy and make a plan. 
I once heard that we are most jealous of the things we see that we want most in this world. Are you jealous of your friends' parents coaching them on their job hunt? Or if your friend received a promotion? Great, this tells you what you want, which is step 1.

Now let's start by creating a plan to get you there. If it's moving up in your career, check this 7-step post outlining how to make your case for a promotion. If it's a new job at a new company / industry all together, start the job hunt with this interview guide. And if it's a lack of monitorship, get creative about your network: ask your friends' parents for advice! Reach out to that old professor of yours! Ask an executive at your company if you can buy them a coffee, to pick their brain on how they achieved their success (and maybe inspire them to be invested in yours.) 

Start today by stop making excuses, and be proactive about the resources that you need. 

3) Reflect and identify your strengths. 
I doubt that you have made it this far by sheer luck. Not having people in your corner by default caused you to get your own people. If you needed to teach yourself a skill in order to advance yourself, that's an amazing thing to call out on your resume or in a job interview. If you don't have experience in a particular field, show how you started a blog and started researching the topic to become versed in it. All of these ways demonstrate resourcefulness and showcase how you are willing to take the initiative; both incredible qualities to look for in an employee, in my opinion. 

The Bottom Line: Flip the Script
It's easy to make excuses. What's not easy, is taking control of your narrative and doing whatever you can in your power to change what you do not like in your life. Consider these experiences opportunities to learn, and turn them into advantages.

Many people came to the realization that their profession just wasn't stacking up to the reality of their day job. Cue the post-pandemic "Great Resignation."

While this is an interesting trend, and whether or not you participated or not, I think pausing to reflect on what your actual dreams are is always a positive exercise. From starting a family to getting the corner office, I'm here to say that no dream is too big for you.

The challenge is, visiting them often and figuring out what they need from you in order to materialize them. No matter how far away you feel from your dreams, I can tell you that you are close. Too often, it's easy to neglect our dreams because we don't know how to attain them. So let's take a minute to show up for them so they will show up for us, too.

The term "dream" can be a little fluffy, so let's make it into something more tangible: 

• Working for yourself
• Be debt-free
• Getting married
• Landing the dream job
• Travel the world
• Writing a book
• Get the degree
• Having a baby

1) Visualize it. Can you actually see yourself living out what you have always dreamed of? Where are you? What is around you? Who are you with? This visualization technique is actually valued by executive coaches who encourage their clients to think about their dream jobs. In addition to that, I would add to look around you and see how showing up for what's in front of you today, will benefit you in the long term - even if it may be a stretch for you to see how they connect. 

2) Build Resilience. If we go after our dreams, we will need resilience. If dreams were easy, they would not be dreams but a task on a to-do list. Along the way, you'll face rejection, obstacles, and feel frustrated. You'll definitely get derailed but hold onto what your dream is and what it means to you.  Keep going and stand your ground. 

3) Perfect your long game. Whatever your dream is, it won't happen overnight. If you can, set a future date and break out some digestible milestones to hit along the way. Cultivate the durability that you'll need to hit your goal. Persevere and practice positive self-talk, celebrating wins when you have them to keep yourself motivated. 

Life's too short to not be running like crazy towards your dream. Coming off the pandemic, it can be hard to get energized again. As we come closer to the end of 2021, now's the perfect time to check in: what are your dreams today, and where can they take you tomorrow? 
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