3 Tips on Shifting Your Money Mindset and Asking for What You Deserve

Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

Why is it so hard for women to talk about money? 

It's a struggle that I've felt personally and am trying to think of ways to NOT pass that on to my daughters (I'm attempting now to talk to my 5 year old about money, so we'll see how that goes!) But I wanted to bring some attention to the topic in an attempt to dive deeper into the mindset struggles I notice women around me deal with when it comes to money and asking what they deserve. 

The Financial Mindset Struggles we Need to Change

• Equating it to your value, which it should. Let's step back and talk about your value. This is where imposter syndrome can come in, and the doubts of who you are and what you are capable of start to creep in. So let me tell you right now that you are valuable and should take up space and should earn what you are worth. 

 

• The "selfish" stigma. We have to get off of this negative mindset of talking about money, or asking for more money. The one in particular that grinds my gears is the  stigma, which I believe is somehow connected to mom guilt, that makes you selfish. Well, I think about money as a means by which that I provide for my family: I buy food for them to eat, pay our mortgage and clothes for my kids. If I make more money, it inevitably goes to them. Aside from the occasional (and arguably well-deserved pampering or purse purchase) what is selfish about that?

3 Tips on Asking for What You Deserve
So you recognize this discomfort that you have: great, now let's do something to change it. Here are three things you can do right now to make improvements in your money mindset. 

1. Back it up with data. Look up your job title, location on salary.com and make sure you are being paid what you should be. Also look up the next level up, you may be surprised to see that you are doing most of that work already, and have that in your pocket when you ask for a raise or make the case for a promotion. Data is objective and that fact may make you feel more comfortable. 
2. Talk to your friends about what they are making. Employers don’t want you to know what each other is making so they don’t have to pay everyone the same. Let’s bust that open: talk to your colleagues (especially the male ones) about their salaries, and note the numbers. How are you stacking up? How does that make you feel? 
3. Channel the rage. Despite recent "advances," women who were full-time, year-round employees made 83 cents for every dollar men made in 2020. If nothing else, guys have no problem asking for insane amounts of money because of their inflated sense of self-worth. Think about all of your hard work, your skills and your talents that you bring to the table - ESPECIALLY if you are a working mom. Try getting angry by and channelling that rage for good ;) 

I love talking about how awesome working women are. Check out this recent podcast for more!