The Right Partner and Their Role in Your Support System

Photo by John Schnobrich on Unsplash

Is it weird to bring up your partner in a business-type blog? I'm going to do it anyway.

While I'm all about female empowerment, it’s naive to think that women can do it all on their own. In fact, one theme I'm consistent on is the need for women to have a support system, both personally and professionally.

Professionally, your support system is your Personal Board of Directors: much like a company, a group of people who are personally invested in your success who you can tap in to get advice or wisdom at any time to advance. 

Taking it one step further, I would argue that the person that you choose to spend your life with is truly your partner. It is not as romantic to think about necessarily, but "forever after" includes compromises and sacrifices. It involves values, understanding, and making the other person's happiness as high of a priority as your own. 

I'm not saying it comes without its ups and downs, but my 10+ years with my husband has been one of the most supportive relationships I have ever been in. Let's dive into what kinds of conversations are worth having:

1 - Finances
Not so sexy a topic, but an important one nonetheless. Ideally before the wedding, a conversation needs to be had about money. Who makes what, who has debt, what the plan is for kicking off your life together. And, time to be honest about your money habits: who is the spender? Who is the saver? I'm all about a little balance, but if something is out of whack now, it will only exacerbate things later. Luckily for me, we are both financially paranoid and don't spend money, ever. So we are boring ;) 

2 - Career
This is also a nice time to talk your career dreams. It's not to say your career can change, but is your career important to you? Where is it you want to be in your life? How can this person help you to get there, or best support you? 

For example, if your dream is to  be the CEO of a company, is your partner onboard with that? Are they okay with the travel, long hours, maybe that MBA program that you are planning to take in a few years? Yeah, talk about that now. Because it's an important factor especially as we look at point 3. 

3 - Kids
Hands down, having kids is one of the most challenging things to negotiate with my career. But I'm doing everything in my power to make it so that it doesn't have to be for my daughters if they choose to be working moms - at least, not to this extent. 

This person is your PARTNER. That means communication, alignment and as equal a division of labor as possible when it comes to your offspring. You may still be the default parent for doctor appointments, etc., but they can jump in too. Usually, they want to. So don't take yet another day off of work if your partner can take a turn when your kid runs a fever. Tap into them as the resource they are and not as another child that needs to be taken care of ;) 

The Bottom Line: Love is Just a Start
There's so much more that comes around after that happily ever after, and knowing where you both stand when it comes to heavy hitting topics like the above. The reason I chose to highlight it now is that while I got married a while back, there really is something to being with someone who commits to you and what is important to you. I love my kids, but know that I get fulfillment out of working, and I need to lean on him occasionally to dedicate the focus needed to succeed at my job. And as I look around the room, especially at a tech company, we need more women here. Women belong in places of leadership, decision making, and influence - so we can make for a better tomorrow for our daughters. 

Want more? Checkout this recent episode of the Moms that Lead podcast, where I talked about support systems for women for long term leadership success.